DeadAlive

I'm stranded out in the middle of nowhere with nothing, i've run out of money and gas. Living at a place where I thought would pay for work done. No money here to be made. I need something, anything, i've ran out of patience, i'm hungry, food stamps wont fucking work online, my phone is busted, my son is back in Kansas, I want to get back to him I moved here to live with a friend in Mesa that did not work out what so ever now i'm on my own here completely alone and failing yet again failing my son my family my siblings everyone hates me and has given up on me I have severe manic depression and anxiety and everything comes so easy for them the same things that are very difficult for me. I hate my life most of all I despise myself. I just wanted something to work out for once that's what this move was for. KS has been hard to me but none the less my baby boy is back there with my ex and the douchebag shes with now. Ive been so alone without her Its been three years and im not over that either. I wonder what is wrong with me. I cry daily, i'm tired all the time, my body hurts, I cant find any light in anything. I've pushed everyone away the only person left is myself and I know my son loves me so much and I fucking left him cause i was confused and everyone told me this would work and it didn't and now I need to get back to him so if anyone has any advice or a job or a place for me to work and live or live or hell anything I just need help basically...my name is matt and i'm broken