I have nothing im giving up all i want is somewhere to go with someone i hate being alone i have nooo energy anymore im tired of writing this already im manic depressed miserable deadalive
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No friends, no gf, no family, no job, no money. nothing to live for...
- Thread starter DeadAlive
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Keep your head up brother. Tomorrow is another day. Just take things one step at a time. I know what you feel like because I'm going through the same struggles. A lot of people are. Just get your game plan together, pack some gear, and point yourself in the direction. Use you head and stay safe. Things will get better if you make them better. We are the masters of our own fates.
I'm stranded out in the middle of nowhere with nothing, i've run out of money and gas. Living at a place where I thought would pay for work done. No money here to be made. I need something, anything, i've ran out of patience, i'm hungry, food stamps wont fucking work online, my phone is busted, my son is back in Kansas, I want to get back to him I moved here to live with a friend in Mesa that did not work out what so ever now i'm on my own here completely alone and failing yet again failing my son my family my siblings everyone hates me and has given up on me I have severe manic depression and anxiety and everything comes so easy for them the same things that are very difficult for me. I hate my life most of all I despise myself. I just wanted something to work out for once that's what this move was for. KS has been hard to me but none the less my baby boy is back there with my ex and the douchebag shes with now. Ive been so alone without her Its been three years and im not over that either. I wonder what is wrong with me. I cry daily, i'm tired all the time, my body hurts, I cant find any light in anything. I've pushed everyone away the only person left is myself and I know my son loves me so much and I fucking left him cause i was confused and everyone told me this would work and it didn't and now I need to get back to him so if anyone has any advice or a job or a place for me to work and live or live or hell anything I just need help basically...my name is matt and i'm broken.
First off, your not alone matt. I too know the pain of making choices and having them not work out despite all efforts. Having been betrayed by my wife and best friend I sympathize with your situation.
Second, is that there is always a way to get out of where you are. Even if it means selling everything you own and walking.
Third, is a little bit of a wisdom I've come to rely on. -our days are what we make them. Meaning that in order to feel positive you have to think positively. In doing so, you will open doors to positive events in your life. When we focus on the negative events in our past we are allowing the past to have dominion over our future.
If your trying to get home to your son. Do it. Let nothing stand in your way. But stay safe. You can't be there for him if your locked up or in the ground.
Wish I had some way to help you, but I'm in the same boat.
Second, is that there is always a way to get out of where you are. Even if it means selling everything you own and walking.
Third, is a little bit of a wisdom I've come to rely on. -our days are what we make them. Meaning that in order to feel positive you have to think positively. In doing so, you will open doors to positive events in your life. When we focus on the negative events in our past we are allowing the past to have dominion over our future.
If your trying to get home to your son. Do it. Let nothing stand in your way. But stay safe. You can't be there for him if your locked up or in the ground.
Wish I had some way to help you, but I'm in the same boat.
Sounds like it's time to hit the road. I've experienced struggles such as yours. Go into the world. Release yourself into the grace of the world. Find new ways of living and of thinking about life.
Dude, I am literally experiencing the same thing. I moved to Indiana to start a better life for me and my son, who is in California, but I lost custody. The guy I moved in with turned out to be a liar and a cheater and he threw me out with nothing. I've often had the same thought cross my mind. But there's still time, for both of us. You will see your son again, just not if you end it all. You're not alone, as much as you may feel that way. I may not know you dude, but I love you. Don't give up.
There's so much support and love on this site. So many people who have experienced the same hardships. It makes me smile to know that there are still good people out there who refuse to let the world break them. Mad respect for you all.
Life seems to be the hardest when it expects the most out of us. Quit living for your self and start living for your son. Then once you have the strength (and yes you will redeem yourself) then you can start working on fixing yourself.
We all need a reason to live, you have one: your son. We all fail or fall down- its part of life. Anxiety problems can lead to depression problems. If shit feels that hopeless maybe you need a little help managing. Seriously, a father taking his own life can really fuck a child up. The best thing you can do for your son is to man up. That old saying things will get better is only a saying. Gotta change your mind set. Gotta figure shit out. Hell my roommate left me with a huge rent bill by myself, I work 46hrs a week and only have enough money to pay my bills. I gotta pawn shit that means the world to me- shit thats been given to me by someone I'll never see again- just so I can get by. But hey, every two weeks I go and pick my shit up and tell them see you next week.
Really man, much love- and remember you can't love someone else until you can love yourself. But maybe you shouldn't start there, maybe you should start with your son. Thats one person you love, and no matter what you do- he's going to love you. Don't be that hole in his heart that he can never fill.
You have more to be proud of then you think. You at least care about your son. Theres a lot of people that don't care about their kids, and do irrational things that leave family behind holding the emotions, while it got easier for you.
We all need a reason to live, you have one: your son. We all fail or fall down- its part of life. Anxiety problems can lead to depression problems. If shit feels that hopeless maybe you need a little help managing. Seriously, a father taking his own life can really fuck a child up. The best thing you can do for your son is to man up. That old saying things will get better is only a saying. Gotta change your mind set. Gotta figure shit out. Hell my roommate left me with a huge rent bill by myself, I work 46hrs a week and only have enough money to pay my bills. I gotta pawn shit that means the world to me- shit thats been given to me by someone I'll never see again- just so I can get by. But hey, every two weeks I go and pick my shit up and tell them see you next week.
Really man, much love- and remember you can't love someone else until you can love yourself. But maybe you shouldn't start there, maybe you should start with your son. Thats one person you love, and no matter what you do- he's going to love you. Don't be that hole in his heart that he can never fill.
You have more to be proud of then you think. You at least care about your son. Theres a lot of people that don't care about their kids, and do irrational things that leave family behind holding the emotions, while it got easier for you.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
when the road your trudging seems all up hill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
when you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when your cares are pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
It may be near when it seems so far,
so you can never tell how close you are,
It's when things seem worst you must not quit,
Stick to the fight when your hardest hit.
Regards, Westy.
when the road your trudging seems all up hill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
when you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when your cares are pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
It may be near when it seems so far,
so you can never tell how close you are,
It's when things seem worst you must not quit,
Stick to the fight when your hardest hit.
Regards, Westy.
Hey, I've been where you're at a lot - and it's not your fault. I hope you find a way back to your son, and to deal with the rest of your family however keeps you healthy - I know how much it can mess us up to have birth family judging us. Stick around, let us know how it's going.